មាតិកា
We will surely find at least one of them in our couple if we live together long enough. But this does not mean that your marriage is coming to an end. This is a sign that you have allowed things to take their course, while the relationship needs a periodic “review”.
Don’t assume that if your partner acts like he’s going to check out your marriage, you should respond in kind. There is a way out of every problem. It is offered by our experts.
1. He spends time around, but not with you.
It means being in the same room, but being silent and doing nothing together. «That kind of time doesn’t count,» says family therapist Aaron Anderson of Denver, Colorado. “Even if you sit next to each other in the evening after work and each correspond with your friends on social networks, hand on heart, didn’t you really have time for this during the day?”
លទ្ធផល: come up with something that will make him put down his laptop and join you.
2. He doesn’t include you in his weekend or after work schedule.
It’s all about quantity here. Meeting friends and doing hobbies is necessary for each of you, but it should not take up all your free time. “Start spending too much time apart, doing things that interest you, and you’re already halfway to living a separate life,” says Becky Whetstone, a family therapist from Little Rock, Arcasas.
លទ្ធផល: start a joint hobby (walking in the evening, sports or dance classes in the park) and leave each evening «for the soul.»
3. He never asks, “How was your day?”
If your breakfast conversations feel like a meeting in the logistics department, something needs to be done about it, otherwise you will turn into business partners. «Call a plumber? — Yes darling. And you take the kids and order dinner.» There is also you, your thoughts and experiences, your impressions of every day. It was important when you first started dating, and it’s no less important now.
Start spending too much time apart and you’re already halfway to living a separate life.
លទ្ធផល: “After all, just because he practically checked out of your life doesn’t mean you have to give a symmetrical response,” says Aaron Anderson. — Don’t give up without a fight! Ask him how the day went, what was at work today — take a step forward. If it was just a routine that left you no time to talk, over time you will return to your former interest in each other.
4. He is vaguely interested in sex.
The intrigue is gone, the drive is gone — and it seems that your partner is quite happy with this. This happens for several reasons. You can think about them while sitting in your home clothes in the kitchen and patting your round sides.
At the beginning of a relationship, you are so captured by each other that you spend every second of life together in all its manifestations. Such openness has its downside: habit, routine and, as a result, loss of interest. “Physical intimacy is also avoided when your feelings are hurt,” says Jenny Ingram, a family therapist in Nashville, Tennessee. — Do not open completely, leave some «rooms» closed. Complete frankness and naivety is not the best start to a long relationship.
លទ្ធផល: return femininity, communicate with your partner in the first place as a man.
5. He habitually criticizes your friends and family.
Your partner is now also part of your family, but he may not be as good-natured as they are. Try to understand that comments addressed to someone in your family, whoever they may be, are, to some extent, comments addressed to you. This is unacceptable behavior.
លទ្ធផល: “Tell it right away,” says Becky Whetstone. “Don’t start on your own and don’t let your partner talk about your friends and family, because that way they overstep your boundaries and leave you without support.” So that it does not turn out in the end that there is he — the ideal, and there are others — your family, including you.